What’s Left
We long
To stay strong.
But fall in a hole?
It’s a daily toll.
Our concerns
Have taken new turns
While we strive not to spurn
What’s new to learn.
Left to bereave
A need for reprieve
A time to rest
Without zest.
Seasons to us give
Reasons to live,
“No schema for grief”
A constant motif.
Lend deference
To remembrance.
The whole is changed
All, rearranged.
Every new dawn
Memory not gone
All planning thereafter,
Still looking Hereafter.
- Mark Eckel, 26 August 2022, nine weeks after the death of my son, Tyler Micah
Care
Eye to eye
I did not lie
“Request in prayer?”
“That I would care,”
But, If I don’t
Does that mean you won’t
Value my condition
My honest admission?
Beliefs not changed
Though emotions ranged
From despair
To “I don’t care.”
Hard to be
How others see
A different me
Cork on the sea.
Storm tossed
Feel lost
A heavy cost
“Care” exhaust,
While I do my part
From the start
Do not expect,
When you inspect,
My soul.
I am not whole.
Tears fill my eyes
No surprise.
You may not see
Immediately
Cries collect –
I can deflect –
To another time,
More prime,
When I am alone
Emotion you can’t condone
If I say
What is true today
“Trying to care”
Think not, “he need repair.”
After that, I will not share.
I hope the same fare
You will not bear
But if…I will meet you there.
Moving on
An awful phrase
This, no phase
I don’t pretend
I’ve reached an end.
Can’t move
No groove
You want exposure?
The myth is “closure.”
My words profane
Some say “Refrain!”
Can’t be suppressed,
Stuff your protest.
Could care less
If you’re compassionless
Could not care in the least,
As I battle the beast.
My wound may scar
On memory a mar
I will carry it far
Unlike golf, there is no par.
My tattoo is not for you
My ink is not what you think.
No parlor you want to enter
See me, your welted mentor.*
*The poetry reflects a response to some who want those in grief to “get on with life.” The truth is, there is no timetable for grief. And it is important to say that no one fully understands another’s pain. Solomon’s wisdom prevails, “The heart knows its own bitterness and no stranger shares its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 ESV) and Paul’s solution is best, “Weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).