“How ya’ doin’?” is the general way the question is asked. People who ask it fall into categories. Some mean, “Hi.” The question becomes an informal greeting. The person isn’t expecting you to answer. Others wonder, truly, about your well-being. The individual is expecting a reply akin to “Fine, thank you.” Their interest is intentional, kind, and superficial. Very few really want to know in what way your life is going. When things aren’t going so well, and I’m in the proper mind to address the issue, my response to the question is another question. “Do you really want to know?!” 
Here’s the thing. If you really want to know, I’ll tell you. But you better be prepared. You may or may not be ready for my answer. I may use words you don’t normally hear. The expression on my face may make you want to take a step back. The tone of my voice may make you shudder.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at you. I’m not trying to prove a point.
But this one thing is true. If you ask me how I’m doing, you better be ready for the answer.
All us humans can be quite trivial. We’re trying to be “nice,” to put a “good face on” as we traverse the planet. We’re just trying to make it to the end of the day. I get that. I’ll include myself in the mix. There are days that I repeat Walker Percy’s dictum over and over.
A man can know the meaning of life but he still has to make it through Wednesday afternoon.
Yeah, man. I’m there. My metaphysical, theological assumptions are set (sorry to use the big, necessary words, but I had to go there first). There are episodes from my past that haunt me. Like the movie Magnolia says,
“You may think you’re through with the past, but the past ain’t through with you.”
The awfulnesses of life I’ve experienced (and if you really want to know what they are, see above) rekindle my anger at the people and the situations I experienced. Deep scars mar the interior of my person, both self-inflicted and others-instigated; and those scars ache from time to time.
At any given moment, just like you I suspect, I may not be in a place to really communicate the honesty of what I think. Unless you really want to hear it. Every single one of us struggles with ourselves. We are, as so many have said, our own worst enemies. We don’t mean to be obstinate or dispassionate. But the swamp sucks us in sometimes. And we are wading neck deep through troubled waters.
So, next time you want to say “Hello,” to someone, say that. Or maybe you just want to be friendly. “Glad to see you” will suffice. On those rare occasions, however, when you really mean “I’m wondering how you are doing, how is life treating you, how are you feeling about living today?” be ready. I’ll look you in the eye to make sure you are serious. I’ll probably even ask you if you are. But if you’re not ready to hear what I really think, then, don’t ask and I won’t tell. 
Like everyone, I struggle with myself, others, my surroundings, and generally, life itself. But if you want a real conversation, I’m glad to chat. I’ll buy the first round.