Fragmented

How does it feel

to live with paranoid schizophrenia?

Our son Tyler explains in this Truth in Two (full text below).

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Picture Credit: Josh Collingwood, Snappy Goat, Toledo Museum of Art, https://www.toledomuseum.org/about/news/july-1-art-minute-chuck-close-alex

FULL TEXT

Tyler once sent me a picture from the Toledo Museum of Art. The portrait was of “Alex,” from a Chuck Close art exhibit. Tyler told me, “Dad, this is how I feel inside myself. Fragmented.” The picture of a man’s face is created by Chuck Close out of dots, dashes, and abstract shapes. The painting is not of a human face as much as it may be, of a person’s view of themselves.

The fragmentation Tyler felt was represented in his house. If you had the good fortune of visiting Tyler in his home, you would see horizontal spaces everywhere – whether on tables or door frames – filled with broken things. His daily walks with his dogs would cause him to pick up shattered pieces of metal, plastic, or wood. What some creatives call “found art” was Tyler’s pursuit. He cared for broken things.

It has struck me since Tyler’s passing that his jars and spaces filled with broken things may have been statements about how he did not want anything left out, keeping them, perhaps, wishing, they could be put back together. A picture from above one of Tyler’s doors in his home is but one example.

One of the many poems I have written since Tyler’s death this summer honors both his fragmented mind and his care for Broken Things.

Collections / Round his house. / Exhibits from the / Streets of life.

Walking / He gathered / Fragments / Artifacts of life.

Remnants / Metal, plastic, wood / Remembered / Careful of life.

Horizontal / Spaces full / Museums / Bits of life.

Nothing whole / Parts missing / Puzzle pieces / Reflections of life

Picture complete / Now, not then, / Shard collections were / Albums of his life.

I kept a picture of “Alex” by Chuck Close along with other pictures of Tyler. I never want to forget how he saw himself and how different his mind is now resting in peace. My Truth in Two series during Fall 2022 is a tribute to our son Tyler Micah. We lament his death while desiring to give voice to all who suffer in any way.

[This material is drawn from a poem posted on social media. Similar words and ideas can be found by a search at MarkEckel.com where you can also find a tribute to my son. My video series on “suffering” may also be of benefit.]

 

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