5,000 books. That is the approximate number of volumes I own.Stating this fact is not a matter of arrogance but one of humility. Every time I open one of these covers and turn the pages, I discover again how much I do not know. Often as I read, I shake my head not only at the supreme knowledge of those whose words I hold in my hand but also my own insufficiency. There is this drive within me toward knowledge. Every morning when I waken, I give myself to reading and writing; because I hear the ticking of the clock, the sense that time is so vaporous. 
Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations agrees, “Since it is possible that thou mayest depart from life this very moment, regulate every act and thought accordingly” (Book Two, #11). This morning I am rereading Meditations and am reminded again both of the greatness of this Roman emperor but also his commitment to what in philosophy is called “Stoicism.” Among other ideas, the Stoics gave themselves to discipline. Stoics, as Aurelius says, regulated themselves. Further, they believed that a person was responsible first for herself. Emotion was tempered. Knowledge was esteemed.
And it was not as if Aurelius’ could sit around thinking great thoughts without interference. No, any brief history of the Roman prelate immediately explains he was confronted by enemies within and without the empire. Yes, he had a good upbringing and was in a position of privilege but reading his Meditations the reader knows if he only acted on half of his beliefs, Marcus Aurelius was one disciplined man.
In the same meditation, Aurelius questions the existence of “the gods.” A quick overview of his theological belief about Roman “gods” would show his and my own view of The Divine would diverge from the start. However, he does acknowledge a transcendence beyond himself, saying this “Providence” does “exist” and does “care.” The rest of Aurelius’ views of life’s intersection with this deity is very different than my Hebraic-Christian understanding. Yet, I find in the emperor’s words an appreciation that commends his spirit to my own. In short, I bear responsibility to discipline myself. 
Since life is short “regulate every act and thought accordingly.” I wish that I could say I accomplish this effort without fail. Such would be a lie. I find constant weakness in my own person, a desire to quit, give up, or even create a bonfire of all my books in my back yard. But I know within me that I have been given a responsibility with the knowledge I have had the privilege to acquire, and then, to teach. My view of life arises from James chapter four where the half brother of Jesus declares, “your life is but a vapor, it lasts for a while, then vanishes.” Considering that common ground between Aurelius and James, the Scriptures also say, that I bear responsibility not simply to hear The Word, but “be a doer” of it (James 1).
I have always had the utmost respect for those whose views differ from my own; a practice begun decades ago in my public-school upbringing and the influence of Francis Schaeffer on my thinking. That respect for other’s beliefs continues today. No matter the voice from Marcus Aurelius two millennia ago or the great humanist Isaac Asimov in the 20th century, I am glad to learn from them. Our greatest difference – the worship of The God who has given all knowledge or the worship of human knowledge by itself – does not dissuade me from interacting with their thoughts, even in disagreement. My job within a Christian context is to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1) practicing “gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15) with “kind correction” (2 Timothy 2:24-25) with those who disagree.I will continue to shake my head at how much I don’t know, respecting other voices, caring for their perspectives, contrasting my Christian thinking, reminding myself of the responsibility given me, passing on what has been my privilege to know.
5000 books is a burden, gladly carried.